There are days when something important slips out of your hands. Something you gave your time to. Something that once made you feel steady. And suddenly, it’s gone—not because you failed, but because life can sometimes be unfair in ways that don’t make sense right away.
I lost something recently. I won’t go into details here, because I’m still protecting the parts of me that are trying to heal. What I will say is this: it wasn’t because I didn’t care, or that I didn’t try. I did. I cared so much I took a breath when I was burning out. I slowed down when I knew I was drowning. I thought that was allowed.
Apparently, not everyone sees it that way.
And yeah—it hurt. It still does. But pain isn’t the whole story.
Because as the chaos settled, I realized: I wasn’t falling into a void. I had packed an umbrella for this very storm. Quietly, without fanfare, I had built safety nets. I had backup plans. I had seeds that I kept watering even when they hadn’t bloomed yet.
My ESL work, my creative pursuits, my emotional support system—they caught me before I hit the ground. And that’s something I’m immensely grateful for. I know not everyone has that. So I say this with full humility: thank God I prepared. Thank God I didn’t pour everything into just one basket. Thank God I’m still here.
Still working.
Still creating.
Still breathing.
And that, perhaps, is the most important part: I am alive. I get another shot. Another day. Another pivot. It will never be too late so long as I am still breathing.
So if you’ve ever lost something and wondered if that’s it—if it’s game over—I’m here to remind you: It’s not. Some endings are really just redirections in disguise.
I’m not starting from scratch. I’m starting from experience.
The storm came.
But I packed an umbrella.
And I’m still standing.
