If you’ve been here long enough, you’ve known that music has always been one of the things anchoring me, reflecting how my journey has been going in fair and foul.
As my life drastically shifted, music found its way of finding me exactly where I am in different means: whispering, roaring, yet always honest. It’s as if the universe is sending me melodic letters that reflect the seasons, the scars, and the celebrations I have.
I remember, on March 8th 2025, as I started studying for my upcoming comprehensive exams, a Daniel Caesar playlist was on loop, and one song that got stuck with me was Too Deep To Turn Back, which is a song of testament and commitment to things that I didn’t happen to stumble into lightly: becoming a single parent, exploring career shifts, surviving graduate school, and meeting someone special (on this very same date, coincidentally). As I simply keep on showing up, I realize that my commitment has gone so deep that I won’t rest until I get these done (or right, in the case of my slow-burn relationship). These aren’t things that I can easily walk away from; rather, they are the ones I grow roots in.
Then here comes Newspaper Girl by Cheats. Thing is, I’ve been listening to this song since 2018, but the lyrics perfectly resonate with my current life; I’m still stuck at the crossroads but gradually building my own airplane to navigate and letting unexpected headlines gradually slip into my daily life until they become part of my routine.
Speaking of new things to celebrate, I prefer doing them at late nights nowadays, where I solemnly cherish my personal space and appreciate everything I have. The fact of being the only person awake around me also empowers me to magically make meaning in the in-betweens as I continuously reclaim my life and mold my identity. This makes me one of those Nightcrawlers wielding a Switchblade, exactly as Niki wrote these pieces.
Then late nights would hit different nowadays, as I currently have someone to share these moments with at these wee hours. A lot of songs can be used to interpret this one, but I especially like Daylight by Taylor Swift because this slow, steady, burning love I feel right now is something new to me. Something that feels safe and raw, that I am literally still processing it; teaching my system that I am worthy to be loved and seen as I am, and that I should learn to accept all the good things happening in my life for I am someone deserving of them all. And it all starts with accepting this love that arrived at the time I least expected it to come. Just another far-out fact about this song: he added this song to our shared Spotify playlist way back in April 2025.
Accepting that things take time and so does figuring out how to become a better steward of all these. There were many instances that I’d get overwhelmed to the extent that I’d self-sabotage everything, and it’s taking a toll on me and the people I love. I do get hard on myself when I forget that grace is something I’m allowed to give to me, too. Tenderfoot by Reese Lansangan would often remind me how far I’ve come and that it’s okay to keep on showing up and trying again. That I should often choose to count my blessings as much as possible because I am indeed blessed to get such chances in this lifetime.
In addition to that, going through these changes while looking back at what I’ve gone through with a steadier heart is something I am braving at the moment. Reminding myself that I am still here, I made it this far, and I have a huge shot of seeing these through are things I should be grateful, graceful, and proud of. Such moments of flux yet doing my best to stay grounded, are something By The Way by Mayday Parade taught me.
Cheers to the music that carries us through, naming emotions we couldn’t articulate enough and reminding us that we’re never static, but becoming.
As I play multiple roles simultaneously, these songs remind me that I am indeed a woman who is no longer afraid of the weight I carry. This is my heart and soul at the moment, represented by these songs above.
