For quite some time, I’ve been writing about how overwhelmed I am about everything on Facebook.
As I’ve mentioned in my comeback post, I’ve yet to unpack all the things occurred in my life for the past two years after I wrote my last entry in this space. With all honesty, I don’t even know where and how to start unpacking them here.
It’s a good thing I realized early on that I failed to give myself credit for doing my best to live. It’s one thing that keeps me overwhelmed in spite of being progressive, and the more I deny myself of recognition, the more it takes toll on me. My loved ones have been constantly telling me about how proud they are of my bravery and that it’s okay to step off the gas pedal and check how far I’ve come. Sure, I’d acknowledge them, but never did I take those words by heart simply because I’ve believed what I’ve been doing will never be enough. Perhaps I keep raising the bar too much.
Writing this at dawn because I badly need to get all these off my chest… thoughts on hows and whys, hoping to be able to reflect and move past the traffic of not being good enough.
To start off, I decided to embark on new hobbies to recalibrate.
I’ve been walking and jogging across the neighborhood for six months and I’m leaning towards actually trying a marathon, should time allow. I’ve also been podcasting about my random thoughts the same way I’d write them here. I’ve also been busy expanding my network in different domains, hoping to outgrow the very comfort I’ve known for a long time. Life is too short to stay stagnant, and I simply want to have more microflows to keep me going.
Are these really good beginnings? Maybe. At first, I’m just really here for the hell of it. Not exactly sure whether I get to sustain. All I know is that I shouldn’t quit. Not yet.
Six months past, and so much has changed. Now that I think of everything that conspired, I realized I’ve done so much. So much that I became unconsciously ready for what’s to come. I just started accepting new things and new people, and I’d be lying if I say that nothing in me changed at all.
All those kind words said to me after the results became visible, they deeply resonate with me now. I became more capable of living different adventures and I’m becoming hungry for more, in fact. I couldn’t wait to open more doors and taste life’s new flavors. Given how I braved the storms of my tumultuous past, there’s no doubt I’d be acing life in the future.
That’s where the value of showing up comes in. Basically, I’m dumping this here because I’m hoping this would come across as a good reminder. As daunting things can be, it’s worth noting that keeping on moving forward, no matter the pace, is something everyone should do. Even if it’s just one at a time.
You never know how much of an impact showing up can do, whether it be to you or to the people or things you care about. You just give a tidbit of your time as it can go a long way, really. At the very least, you wouldn’t spawn ghosts of regrets for not doing anything at all. In the long run, no one would really give a deep shit whether the outcomes would be good or bad. It would only be concluded once you stop doing anything about it.
This shift in mindset has been helping me a lot lately. That’s why my heart is still here, and I’m still able to yap about life. I may not be executing things perfectly, but I am living. And I intend to, even if all I can do at times is to barely show up.
Hope you guys do the same, too. Hugs, everyone.
